★ Good things come in threes: Musketeers, Amigos, Stooges and Yada’s ★

We wanted to share our travels with you. Hop-over to The Bionic Genius Travel Journal and see what this great country of ours has to offer!

In early March, the Bionic Genii set-out on a trip across America, destination: THE OSCARS in Hollywood, California. This photo journal is a record of our amazing trip, and all of the cool things we tried along the way…

The Bionic Geniuses pose during a visit to the UFO Museum in Roswell, New Mexico. The exhibit in front of which they are posing is dedicated to the movie, “Roswell.”

The Bionic Geniuses stopped off for a cold one at the A Le Inn, located along the “Extraterrestrial Highway”, near Area 51.

Roy is shown posing atop Carhenge.

Bionic Geniuses adding to the world’s largest stack of oil cans, Casselton, North Dakota.

The Bionic Geniuses at El Canibal, part of the Alferd Packer Memorial Grill at the University of Colorado in Boulder. Alferd Packer was a famous Colorado cannibal who, after serving time in prison, became a vegetarian.

Roy shows off his catch. After years of wanting to try fishing for catfish with his bare hands, Roy’s dreams came true at Lake Squarehead in Nuttin, Arkansas. Roy reached in, felt around, came upon a catfish, and let the big fella grab onto his arm. He then hauled him out for a quick photo before releasing this magnificent creature back into the wild, where he will live to face another day and, perhaps, be more wary in the future after today’s lesson in survival.

The Bionic Geniuses spent many nights camping beneath the stars, stopping at motels, or pulling into campgrounds. Wherever we went we were met with the same suspicion and hostility that we have come to expect and enjoy, but perhaps our favorite camping stop was at this VW van show, where we are asked to leave after Terry brought his guitar to the communal campfire and tried to sing “Chasing John Stewart.”

Alan Points skyward while standing next to a Starfleet vessel in Riverside, Iowa, future birthplace of Captain James T. Kirk, and current home of KirkFest. The ship is NOT the USS Enterprise; Paramount reportedly wanted to charge the town $40,000 clams for the rights to an Enterprise statue. Being so far inland, the community opted for a previously unknown Starfleet vessel.

After crossing America in a VW van, the Bionic Geniuses check out the relative comfort and roominess of a vintage trailer in at the RV & Manufactured Housing Museum in Elkhart, Indiana.

The Genii added weekly to thier very own poem, which was read to Billy Collins on April 5th, 2006. Here’s the link for the POETRY LICENSE REVOKED show.

The kind folks at Odeo have added our podcast to their Staff List! What a great honor from the people who know stuff about stuff. Hippety-Hop over to Odeo and tell them we said HELLO-DEO.

Taped on our way back from the Oscars! We have been visiting some great sites in California. This episode is recorded from the parking lot of the Burlingame Museum of Pez, here in Burlingame, California. Dont all roadtrips have their snags? We sure did on this show.
Episode 0000018 Dinner Entre:

What Does a Genius Eat for Lunch?

Mayberry Diner-Don Knotts tribute

Chasing Jon Stewart Update

Game Show: Barney Fife or Mr. Furley?
A quiz of lines from these two characters-which character said the line?

The Museum of Pez Memorabilia- Gary Doss, curator

Poetry Slam-Things That Crunch

Roundtable: Musical upcoming releases that we looking forward to
(Lips! Iron Horse tribute to Modest Mouse! David Bowie concert DVD! Etc. Etc. Etc.)

We thought you should know: Pamelia, the theremin player who was nominated for CRAZIEST LAUGH from Episode 0000008 is going on tour. Says she:

I am hitting london this friday… then off to georgia to tour with barbez to South by Southwest.. then March 25 in Paris, with Sebastien Tellier (first time in a LONG long time… i think a few of you might have seen us way back when we were opening for Air) all of the explicit details are on my site… which has a link to my new my space space!

We’re traveling back from Cali! We’ve stopped-off at some great sites that we’ll tell you about on this week’s show. We’ve been camped outside the Burlingame Museum of Pez, here in Burlingame, California.

We’re using the Kinko’s computers here in Millbrae, responding to all of your emails, but need to wrap this up. Talk to you soon!

Darnell Skruggs, with an apparent eye injury, sends his peace from Cali.

Hank “Handlebar” Hoolihan poses for a photo in Amsterdam.

This episode is recorded live from the red carpet. A special remote show! Show notes below

Episode 0000017 Bling:
This special episode was recorded live from the red carpet in sunny Hollywood California! The trip was worth it, as you will hear in this exciting episode.

Oscar picks from Janitor Jack Riggs

Another embarrasing Bionic Dance Break

An Interview with Teni Melidonian, publicist for the 78th Annual Academy Awards

Poetry Slam-Things That Crunch

With awards in Best Jingle, Geekiest Moment, Craziest Laugh, Worst Musical Performance, and the presentation for the Colonel Steve Austin Lifetime Acheivement Award.

Thanks to Melvin Postlewait of Billings, MT for sending this to our attention.
We acknowledge the inappropriate use, but will continue to use the term geniuses.

We suggest that you seek life outside the Parmly Billings Library.

Thanks also for sending us your photo, Mel.

“I hope this is the future of podcasting … because I hate podcasting and I want to see it die.”
Entertainment Tonight

“A terrorist plot to destroy the Internet.”
O’Reilly Factor

“Allows Heather Graham to save face by saying, ‘at least my sitcom wasn’t THAT bad’.”
TV Guide

“A flaming brown bag of doody on the front porch of podcasting.”
boingboing

“Son, you’re out of the will.”
Terry’s dad

“Daddy, you’re making me cry.”
Roy’s daughter

“I want a divorce.”
Alan’s wife

“You’re fired.”
Owner of company where Bionic Geniuses work

Studies show that 13 out of 10 high school students are flunking math. And a study done in 2005 (or was it 1902?) shows that the majority of high school history students believe there have only been 43 Presidents of the United States, as opposed to the 243.765 Presidents we’ve actually had.

And, perhaps even more egregious, 0 out of 10 students could give the scientific name of every parrot species alive today.

In our continuing patriotic effort to educate and entertain America, the Bionic Geniuses present a new segment to deliver our children from the maw of ignorance. In each “Presidents and Parrots segment” we discuss an American President, and a parrot which we think that President would have owned, had he (or she) ever owned a parrot.

The President: George Washington

Born: February 22, 1732, Westmorland, Virginia. Married to Martha Dandridge Custis Washington. Two step-children from Martha’s previous marriage; 1 daughter and 1 son.

Nicknamed the “father of his country.” Washington’s false teeth were made of hippo ivory and lead, along with the teeth of sheep, cows and humans. He did not however, own a pair of wooden teeth.

The well-known “I cannot tell a lie” story is also a myth. Washington was the first President to have his picture on a stamp. Washington did not have a college degree, and was an Episcopalian.

He was a planter, surveyor and solider, becoming a General in the Continental Army. He also served as a member of Virginia House of Burgesses, (1759-1774); member of Continental Congress, (1774-1775); and chairman of the Constitutional Convention, (1787-1788). A Federalist, Washington served as the first President of the United States (1789-1797).

Washington enjoyed fishing, riding, billiards, cards, reading and walking.
He died December 14, 1799 from a throat infection.

His parrot: Polly
O.K., George Washington actually did have a parrot named Polly. Although in our less-than-exhaustive search we could find no information on Washington’s actual parrot, were we to choose one for him it would probably be the Blue & Gold Parrot.

The Blue and Gold, like Washington, can be said to have a mellow personality and gorgeous coloration.

Also, the Blue and Gold is the most popular macaw species for a pet, while Washington is perhaps our most popular President.

Another link: The Blue and Gold is a large bird, although quite gentle, and can make a great family pet if provided with a large cage and lots of exercise. Washington was also a tall man, and gentle unless provoked by British monarchs.

This week week we interview N!cholas Gurewitch who talks about his hilarious comic strip, Perry Bible Fellowship.
Episode 0000016 Agendum:

What does a genius eat for lunch?

Chasing Jon Stewart Update: phone call to Coliseum Bookstore.

Presidents and Parrots: On each Presidential birthday, we will post information on a president and the parrot we think he most likely have owned.

Special Interview: N!cholas Gurewitch, artist and writer of the Perry Bible Fellowship strip speaks on life, love and baby sitting. Visit Perry Bible Fellowship online: www.thepbf.com
Bionic Genius Hall of Fame inductees: Col. Steve Austin (Roy); Space Ghost (Terry); Mr. T (Alan)

Studies show that 13 out of 10 high school students are flunking math. And a study done in 2005 {or was it 1902?} shows that the majority of high school history students believe there have only been 43 Presidents of the United States, as opposed to the 243.765 Presidents we’ve actually had. And, perhaps even more egregious, 0 out of 10 students could give the scientific name of every parrot species alive today.

In our continuing patriotic effort to educate and entertain America, the Bionic Geniuses present a new segment to deliver our children from the maw of ignorance. In each “Presidents and Parrots segment” we discuss an American President, and a parrot which we think that President would have owned, had he {or she} ever owned a parrot.

Without further ado, we bring you PRESIDENTS AND PARROTS…

If you don’t want to wait for your MP3 download, you can stream it online. The SHOW INDEX page has links forthwith.

We’ve also added the Podcast Player within each episode. Launch the player now.