Bionic Genius Test

Are you a Bionic Genius? Take our test and find out!

1. How much of your body is made up of bionic (i.e. non-organic) matter?

A. 100%

B. 75%

C. 50%

D. 25%

E. It’s a violation of my rights to ask this question

2. Which best describes your memory:

A. Steel trap

B. Rusty cage

C. Broken

D. Breached dam

E. Highly selective (remember trivia, not important stuff)

F. Lowly selective (remember important stuff, not trivia)

3. If you knew you were going to be shipwrecked alone on a desert island, what would you take along?

A. CD collection and player

B. DVD collection and player

C. Book collection

D. Suntan lotion

E. High-powered short-wave radio

F. None of the above-I’d stay home

4. Rate the following for hokiness/classic status (1 being classic, 5 being hokey):

A. Captain and Tenille (excluding Muskrat Love) ___

B. Tony Orlando and Dawn ___

C. Tom Jones ___

D. Wayne Newton ___

E. Heart ___

5. Rate the following movies from worst to best, 5 being worst and 1 being best:

A. Cocktail

B. Star Wars The Phantom Menace

C. Jiminy Glick in Lalawood

D. Big Mama’s House

E. Cheaper By the Dozen (remake starring Steve Martin)

6. Which of the following statements is/are true:

A. Santa Claus is a vampire

B. The Easter Bunny is on the payroll of the America Dental Association

C. As a baby, Michael Jackson was abducted by aliens and replaced with a Martian

D. Interns are expendable

E. All of the above

7. (Men only) If you were a female impersonator, whom would you impersonate?

A. Marilyn Monroe

B. Bette Midler

C. Barbra Streisand

D. Joan Rivers

E. Nathan Lane

8. (Women only) If you were a male impersonator, whom would you impersonate?

A. Nathan Lane

B. Matthew Broderick

C. Michael Jackson

D. Elijah Wood

E. Melissa Etheridge

9. Your pet of choice would be:

A. Dog

B. Cat

C. Fish

D. Hamster

E. Princess Leia

10. Favorite Bionic Genius:

A. Alan

B. Roy

C. Terry

D. Alajandro the intern

E. Josh the intern

Answers: 1, E; 2, E; 3, F; 4, A-1 B-5 C-1 D-5 E-5; 5, A-5 B-5 C-5 D-5 E-5; 6, E; 7, E; 8, E; 9, E; 10, E.