★ Good things come in threes: Musketeers, Amigos, Stooges and Yada’s ★

¹⁶One day two geniuses^[e] came to Roy, ¹⁷and one of them said: Your Majesty, this man and I work at the same company. Not long ago my hedgehog was born to unto me, ¹⁸and three days later his hedgehog was born.

¹⁹One day while he was doing a soft-shoe routine in the office, Terry smeared his hedgehog thinly into the carpet, and he died. ²⁰Then while Alan was still at the Spiceland Barber Shop, Terry got up and took his hedgehog out of his desk drawer. He put the live hedgehog in his desk, then he put his now-thinner than a slice of lunchmeat hedgehog into Alan’s drawer. Oy, me. This is very confusing, but bear-with us; there’s a stellar pay-off.

²¹In the late afternoon, when Alan returned from the barber, Alan saw that his hedgehog was dead. But when he held him up to the light to look at his transparent pimento-loaf-like bits, he knew he wasn’t my hedgehog.

²²“No!” Terry shouted. “He was your hedgehog. My hedgehog is alive!”

“While now delicious-looking, the dead hedgehog is yours,” Alan yelled. “Mine is alive!”

They argued back and forth in front of Roy, ²³until finally he said, “Both of you say this live hedgehog is yours.²⁴Someone bring me a sword.”

A sword was brought, and Roy ordered, ²⁵“Cut the hedgehog in half! That way each of you can have part of him. And bring me some pumpernickel and mayo for this other hedgehog.”

²⁶“Please don’t kill my hedgehog,” Alan screamed. “Roy, I love him very much, but give him to Terry. Just don’t kill him.”

Terry shouted, “Go ahead and cut him in half. Then neither of us will have the hedgehog.”

²⁷Roy said, “Don’t kill the hedgehog.” Then while chewing on the soft-shoe sandwich, he pointed to Alan,  ”He is the genius. Give the hedgehog to him.”

²⁸Everyone in Spiceland was amazed when they heard how Roy had made his decision. They realized that The Flying Spaghetti Monster had given him wisdom to judge fairly.

We’re back in spirit!

This is the first in a series of classic podcast episodes. On July 18, 2006 we spoke with Skip Haynes from the Laurel Canyon Animal Company, Makers of Pet CD’s guaranteed to get a reaction from your dog. We even play a few of these songs on the show, so get some headphones for your pooch, and enjoy the show!

Featured in this classic episode:

- As the Corn Blows – Terry drags us into another tBGR Soap Opera

- Special Interview with Skip Haynes from the Laurel Canyon Animal Company – Makers of Pet CD’s. Located in Los Angeles, the company is dedicated to creating original musical works inspired by the relationships between animals and people-and to raising the awareness of people as to the sentience of all animals.

Here’s a stack of Thanksgiving treats just spilling out of your cornucopia…

“The Return of the Thanksgiving Jedi Special” (2008)

Complete show notes…

Terry’s song THANKS A LOT…

The original 2005 Bionic Genius Thanksgiving Special…

This episode, we’re joined by John Cohn, “The Professor” from Discovery Channel’s THE COLONY!

About John Cohn (from wikipedia)
John Cohn is a 50-year-old chief IBM scientist for design automation from Richmond, Vermont. He is an expert in fixing, making or hacking electronics, mechanical fabrication, and welding. His other talents include building structures out of natural materials, growing edible plants, sculpting and fire building. He has been referred to by the other colonists as ‘The Professor’.

About The Colony
The Colony was a controlled experiment produced by the Discovery Channel, to see exactly what it would take to survive and rebuild under these post-apacolyptic circumstances. For 10 weeks, a group of 10 volunteers, whose backgrounds and expertise represent a cross-section of modern society, are isolated in an urban environment outside Los Angeles and tasked with creating a livable society.

Visit Sam’s Stones and tell John we said hello!

Visit The Colony at The Discovery Channel to learn more about the project.

Follow Terry (@tclovescricket) and Alan (@alanhouser) on Twitter.

Learn about Terry’s book, “DRY FLY GOSPEL” on his web site: www.dryflygospel.com
Grab Dry Fly Gospel from Amazon Now!

If you’re an eternal optimist, then you’ll appreciate the fact that our guest didn’t show-up. Or something like that.

Your geniuses talk about State Fair food and prattle about Winston, the carrier pigeon who beat broadband speed.

Follow Winston the pigeon on Facebook and Twitter and visit his site.

Follow Terry (@tclovescricket) and Alan (@alanhouser) on Twitter.

Read about Terry’s book, “DRY FLY GOSPEL” on his web site: www.dryflygospel.com
Grab Dry Fly Gospel from Amazon Now!

This week we’re speaking with Winston the pigeon who raced a broadband service and won.

More information from our partners at ABC.

Stay-tuned.

The recipe for What Martha Stewart would call a good thing. This is episode is three-parts genius with a dash of et cetera.

The genii reunite after a relaxing Summer. As usual, things went a little long, Terry wanted to skit, Alan dropped innuendos, and Roy just wanted to go.

Follow Terry (@tclovescricket) and Alan (@alanhouser) on Twitter

Read about Terry’s book, “DRY FLY GOSPEL” on his web site: www.dryflygospel.com
Grab Dry Fly Gospel from Amazon Now!

Alan’s other/better podcast “CreativeXpert” is nominated for “Podcast of the Year” over at www.thenetawards.com
Visit CreativeXpert.com for more information.

This week we welcome Austin Grossman, author of Soon I Will Be Invincible to the show! We also welcome back Josh the Intern who moved to Austin with his band, Know More Robots!

Episode 0000048 Features

Austin Grossman wrote the book on superheroes — literally.

from wikipedia:
The novel {Soon I Will Be Invincible} is told through two alternating first person narratives of the characters Dr. Impossible and Fatale. Dr. Impossible is a self-proclaimed supervillain of the mad genius variety, who suffers from “Malign Hypercognition Disorder” (“evil genius” syndrome). Fatale is a female cyborg and the novel begins with her called up to join the superhero group The Champions, a Justice League of America/Avengers-style team in the wake of the disappearance of the superhero CoreFire.

Visit the book’s website: sooniwillbeinvincible.com and tell Austin we said hello!

We also welcome Josh the Intern to the show, who’s up & re-located to Austin with his band Know More Robots.

Visit Know More Robots online: myspace.com/knowmorerobots and the official KMR site: knowmorerobotsband.com

This week we welcome author Paul Malmont back to the show!

Paul first appeared on The Roundtable in June of 2006 to discuss his book “Chinatown Death Cloud Peril”, and he’s returned to tell the world about his latest book: “Jack London in Paradise“.

SFGATE, Home of the San Francisco Chronicle says:

“Jack London in Paradise” reveals London as a creature of the cinematic age and a writer intrigued with cultures and races not his own. He emerges as our contemporary, not a musty figure from the past. In Hawaii, he comes to grips with his tangled self and sees himself for the first time as he really is. He’s a tragic hero, though he can also be a bit of a buffoon. Like the real London, he makes speeches and pontificates. Moreover, he’s afraid that he’s been cursed; his great wealth and fame only add to his woes.

Visit Paul’s website: www.paulmalmont.com and check-out Jack London in Paradise!

This week we bring back the roundtable, with actual discussating. It was a little exhausting, but we covered every topic known to genii from pole to pole.

Featured in episode 0000046:

We discussed what we had for lunch, Red Stripe Lauger, Blood River and Beer from the Republic of Congo, Frank Miller’s The Spirit, Sin City, The chase scenes in Ronin, The Hawk, Gill Gerrard, Erin Grey, F. Murray Abraham, Ben Folds, Randy Newman, The Killing of a Porno Queen, Kojak, David Byrne and Brian Eno, Cale and Vitamin D, Music for the Knee Plays, U2′s The Unforgettable Fire, Ray Stevens, Motley Crue, The Day the Earth Stood Still, Armageddon, Michael Bay and the rest of the global impact films, Bruce Willis, Moonlighting, Unbreakable, Die Hard with a Vengeance, Cheech Marin, Tommy Chong, The Dark Knight, the Batman franchise, The Bionic Genius Hat Company, Tom Wopat, Bernadette Peters, Obama’s Manatees, Obamafication, man caves, the ATF, The Comics Curmudgeon, former intern Josh, Comics Curdungeon, and snoods from every corner of wikipedia.

Thanks again to our sponsor, The Bionic Genius Hat Company.

You may already know that there’s awesome things to see on Facebook, like bacon or Matt Hofmann’s hair.

{Matt was a special guest who glistened during the Iron Jedi match on Episode 0000043 “A Jedi Thanksgiving”.}
Photo used without permission, and I’ll likely be subject to a Vulcan pinch, a mind-meld, or whatever the Cylons do to their enemies.

But I digress.

Join the Bionic Genius Roundtable on Facebook.

Happy Christmas, Geniuses!

This week I changed the format completely with a shocking twist.

Please don’t tell Roy and Terry.
Maybe they won’t even realize that I taped-over the Larry David interview.

Thanks again to our sponsor, The Bionic Genius Hat Company.

Re-posted from SLASHFOOD

Sure, many folks go to an Alice B. Toklas place when creative brownie making is mentioned, but for a goody two-shoes like me (with a cop pal as my afternoon’s company to boot!), there’s much swoony satisfaction in a recipe that highlights some of my favorite legal vices. I’m hardly the first to alight at bacon brownies, but I decided to borrow a step from the bourbon balls I’m often rolling up ’round this time of year for holiday party purposes. A double-soak — once pre and once mid-toasting of a half cup of pecans in bourbon, and a swap-in of the nut-infused bourbon for the traditional vanilla brings a slightly tipsy edge to a deeply fudgy brownie. A grind of fresh black pepper (inspired by a Chanterelle Staff Meals brownie recipe, which credited the technique to Maida Heatter) strums the palate to life; a subtle note of smoked salt lets the bolder bacon sing.

Had there not been half a foot of snow atop my grill cover, I’d have seen what came of an attempt to tobacco-smoke the pecans and chocolate, but for now, these are more than sufficiently wicked.